Commitment

Damn, I need to start commiting to this blog. Things really are different when you’re not a student anymore … I have to work my ass off to pay rent every month! Where got time for blogging anymore???

Just kidding … how can I ever neglect this lovely space of mine. My virtual sanctuary 😛

I just want to get over with the driving test. I have failed … miserably … twice. And, I feel that the Advanced Class 5 road test is too difficult for me. I don’t have enough driving experience here in Canada … . The Basic Class 5 road test is less stressful as it is only 25 minutes long. The only thing I have to practise real hard is parallel parking. If I hit the curb … it is an automatic fail 😦

I can’t believe I just paid $500 over bucks for the stupid driving lessons too. My goal was to get a licence so that I can start driving to work. Sigh, I wish I had my mind straighten out a little back then when I surrended my M’sian Driving License to gain approval to take the road test immediately. Jackie kept convincing me to just sit for the Advanced Class 5 road test … it would have been easier if I just sat for the Basic Class 5 test. Look where I am now … ARGH … it is frustrating, and it is bothering every single bit of me. Grr … I don’t care if I have to wait 2 more years before sitting for the Advanced Road Test … I’ve been ranting on about this without even mentioning the benefits … gee. If I have a basic license … I can’t drive past midnight, can’t have a single alcohol trace in my blood while driving … can’t go pass speed limit (otherwise license will be suspended right away). So yeah … unfortunate for me, but who cares? I just need a car so I can DRIVE MY ASS AROUND!

Breathe … I need to calm down. I keep thinking about this at work (because I have to carpool with people) … even when I eat, bathe or water my plants. Except when I’m watching movies … I am stress-free! 🙂 Recently, I discovered a portal where I can watch all the exciting dramas (Jap, especially) … and I’m addicted to this show now – Busu no Hitomi Koishiteru. It’s really funny, and heart-warming as well.

There’s too much going on in my life now. I have to keep up with work … not having a car and a license to drive is so inconvenient … parents are persuading me to go home all the time … is life all about pleasing other people? Sometimes I feel choked. I can’t even have a tiny space to do what I want to do with my life. It’s all about the money, status, family, future. I wish time can just pause for me a little while, so that I can breathe.

I can’t find the right time to breathe anymore.