Normal

And again, I came across another interesting Japanese drama that talks about the struggle of “IS”, which stands for intersexual. The term refers to people who cannot be classified as a male or a female, and who may biologically possess physical traits of both sexes. Some argue that it is not a psychologically gender identity disorder, but the state at which intersexuals are at may present themselves anywhere between the two sexes.

This is the first I’ve heard of intersexual, and I want to say thanks to whoever created this movie for educating me. In this generation, people are becoming more aware of homosexuals and bisexuals, but intersexual is perhaps less well known by society. Perhaps, it is more controversial … more sensitive to the norm.

But it makes one wonder, what is the norm? Who decides what is normal? Just because one category or classification outnumbers another, doesn’t mean it is the norm, does it? Unfortunately, that is how society is.

The drama evolves around two families, both with an IS child. As we know, every parent has their own methods and beliefs on raising a child. Some may be pressured by the norm and plan the best outcome for the child; while some may just follow their heart, knowing they’ve made the best decision at that time and just move with the flow. This drama really opened up my eyes to the struggle of someone who is different and trying to fit in with society. Fitting in to make friends; to get acknowledgement and to even be able to fall in love.

Recently, I discovered a friend of mine is a homosexual. It was surprising to me as I had known him for 12 years yet not really knowing who he was. It is tough keeping secrets, and I really respect his courage for being able to tell me the truth. I asked him why he chose to let me know now, and he said he thought I should know the truth before I got married. I wasn’t sure what to make of that reasoning but I am sure it must have been tough all these years. Apparently, he had known it since he was a child. I don’t think of him any differently. He is still my friend, and I reassured and thanked him for letting me know. But something he said made me ponder on the future …

“So my younger brother brought home a “friend” recently. He’s the same as me … [laughs]. But it’s ok, my older brother is getting married next year and so my mum will be happy at least for a while.”

I start to think how I would react if my own child is “different” from the rest? Will I have the courage to accept? What would be right and wrong? I don’t know what I would do when the day comes … but this drama has taught me to learn to accept, and that a child no matter how different he or she is … is still a normal human being. They should have the right to attend school like everyone else, make friends, and experience falling in love. They should have the right to be happy.

“There are a lot of different people in the world. That’s nature. Even if only one person understands, I think it’ll be okay.”

“We should be able to live without lying.”

quotes from the J-drama, IS (男でも女でもない性)

Come to think of it, we’re constantly categorizing details of our lives. Masculine or feminine, introverts or extroverts, guy friend or girl friend … if only things were as simple as “as long as he’s a good person.”

Some parents could see it as a form of punishment. Perhaps, the more optimistic way is seeing it as a test. Don’t we all grow from facing challenges head on?

Face Maker

I have been watching this interesting Japanese drama called Face Maker. The story tells of a man named Kirishima Shun, a plastic surgeon who previously used to work for the US Federal Witness Protection Program. He is nicknamed the “Face Maker” in the black market. Patients come to him seeking to change their lives, and he grants them that wish with a new face. He doesn’t take money but asks for his patients’ previous faces as a payment.

I am still figuring out if there’s some dark motive behind Kirishima‘s operations. Although, it does make one ponder about the desperation that people will go through to change their lives. Also, Kirishima gives the patient the option of choosing any face they like on the shelf, knowingly the faces that are on his shelf are previous faces of other patients. If you had a choice, what kind of face would you choose? Perhaps, there’s someone who thinks your face is better, even when you think it’s the worst?

Each episode tells a story of a patient. Some patients choose to be more beautiful, and some to escape a horrifying past. There are also those who want to take revenge, and those who want to save a loved one. Sometimes, there are twists in the story during their attempts. I love watching Japanese dramas as they are unique. I find most Western movie and dramas quite boring and always having similar themes of love and friendship.

My favourite episode is about a mother, who changed her face so that she can save her son. Both mother and son are victims of domestic violence, and because of a misunderstanding, the court gave her a restraining order and she is not allowed to see her son for a long time. Kirishima was initially hesitant, stating that there are many other ways to save herself and her son. The mother was persistent and her reason was so simple yet so pure of love – she has not seen her son for over a month, and wanted to just be close to him so that she knows he is ok under the care of her abusive husband. The interesting part begins when her previous face was “sold” to another woman. Her husband took that woman in thinking that she is his real wife. Naturally, this other woman is only acting the part since all she wants is money and status, and so she doesn’t care about the young boy. Moreover, she starts to become abusive towards him as well. Is there an invisible bond between mother and child that can reunite them?

If you have a choice, would you change your face? Only wanting to move forward, not knowing what the complications of taking another person’s face are?

“The one who changed your life isn’t me. You yourself did.” — Kirishima Shun~FACE MAKER

Gong Hei Fatt Choy!

And that’s to all who celebrate the Chinese New Year! Welcome to the year of the Water Dragon 2012! May it be blessed with more awesome prospects, happiness, and good health!

I wish I could be home in Malaysia now, but I guess I’ll have to wait for the next opportunity to celebrate this occasion. My husband and I tried to make the best of it here in the land of the West. I was feeling quite sad. How can one not be when Facebook keeps shoving images of joyous gatherings and savory home-cooked food?

Although we did not have a new year’s eve reunion dinner (that’s because we have no family here in Houston), we decided to go to our favourite Korean restaurant and feast in the scrumptious dishes there. After that, we adjourned to the Buddhist temple for some ceremonial prayers to usher in the New Year. To our surprise, there was a spectacular lion dance show as well! I think a part of me just wanted to feel close to home, and I depended on the temple’s activities for that reason. I am glad I made the decision to attend the prayers that night.

Last night, I cooked a simple but special dinner in conjunction with the first day of the Chinese New Year. My husband and I chowed down rice, fried fish, bok choy, and lotus root & peanut soup. My husband and I love to drink this soup. This is a recipe that I took a few times to master. Learning from my mum (no cookbooks or anything), and recently fine-tuned the recipe by observing the ingredients that my mother-in-law used. This soup dish is very common in Chinese households. At least for me it is comfort food any day of the year.

Lotus Root & Peanut Soup

Cooking time: At least 2 hours for richer texture and flavour

In my haste to eat, I forgot to take a photo of the dish (sorry!)

Ingredients:

600-700 mL of water for main soup

Pork bone meat (a couple, depending on size); can use pork ribs as well as an alternative

10-15 slices of Lotus Root (washed and skin peeled)

A handful of raw peanuts

8 dried red dates (jujube)

3 dried Shiitake mushrooms

2 dried scallops (conpoy)

Instructions:

1.Soften the dried Shiitake mushrooms in boiled hot water for about 10 minutes. A lot of the dried food contain sulfites, and so I always soak them in warm water for a few minutes – the red dates, peanuts, and dried scallops.

2. Since pork meat has a very strong gamey smell, it’s always best to blanch it first. To do this, boil water in a separate pot and blanch the pork for about 2 minutes. Then, transfer the pork to the main pot.

3. Add in the peeled and sliced lotus root, followed by the peanuts, red dates, dried scallop and mushrooms. Let boil rapidly for 10 minutes, then reduce the heat to low and cover.

4. After 2 hours, add two pinches of salt – do Not stir – increase the heat to high again and let it boil rapidly for another 5 minutes. Serve hot in soup bowls – everything in this soup can be eaten if you like to!

Turkey Meatballs and Pasta in Cream Sauce

I believe writing procedures takes skill. A recipe is a form of procedure. Yes, it has to be detailed, but more importantly presented in the best way to reduce the chances of the user misreading and making a mistake. You can tell I am ranting about my mistake with this recipe … I honestly didn’t think the instructions were easy to read. Although, I will admit one stupid mistake on my part – I thought scallions were shallots. Still, it turned out pretty good. I wondered how it would have tasted without shallots hmmm …

I got the recipe from CottageLiving magazine, “Our Best Recipes” edition. Although, I’m going to re-word most of the instructions …

Ingredients:

3 tablespoons olive oil

1 cup scallions, finely minced and divided

8 ounces shiitake mushrooms, sliced

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2.5 cups chicken broth

1/4 cup fine, dry breadcrumbs

1/3 cup milk

1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese, divided, and more for serving

1 large egg

1 pound ground turkey

2 garlic cloves , minced

3 tablespoons fresh minced flat-leaf parsley

2/3 cup heavy cream

and pasta, salt, ground pepper

Instructions:

1. Combine breadcrumbs and milk in a small bowl and let it soak for about 10 minutes.

2. Combine 1/2cup Parmesan, 1/2 cup scallions, egg, garlic, parsley, salt and pepper in a separate bowl. Stir in the breadcrumb mixture and form into meatballs.

3. Heat oil in a large saucepan  over medium heat. Add remaining 1/2 cup scallions, salt, pepper and mushrooms, and cook, stirring occasionally for a few minutes. Add flour, stir. Then, add the broth, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.

4. Add meatballs to the sauce; cover and simmer 20 minutes more.

5. Add the cream, and return it to a simmer. Add remaining 1/2 cup Parmesan, and stir until sauce is slightly thickened.

6. Add sauce to drained cooked pasta and toss gently. Serve with additional Parmesan.

7. Add a little Parsley on top to finish it with a splendid garnish!

 

 

Happy New Year 2012!

The year 2011 threw many significant events at me. It was a year of ongoing changes and movement. I believe I can say for sure that 2011 was not a quiet year. The process may have been stressful and frustrating, but the happy moments are worth it.

On 20 February 2011, my bee and I had our marriage registration ceremony at university, the place where we met and fell in love. This was just a legal ceremony, and so we didn’t have an audience. Only two of our friends were with us as witnesses. It was a humble but joyous event for the both of us.

On 4 May 2011, it was the big move from Canada to the US of A. I remember rushing to sell all my furniture as well as donating most of my household items and clothing; items of which I had collected and owned over the past 8 years of my life in Canada. The hardest one to say goodbye to was “James”, my sedan Mazda3. My very first car of which I bought with my own income. To some, it is just a car and it is replaceable. But I am sure everyone remembers the feeling of owning their very first car just like any other proud moments in life. We shared good and bad times. Unfortunately, it was a year of winter driving accidents for James as well. James suffered a blow to the front bumper when we hit the ditch after skidding on black ice. Moreover, some idiot kid decided that it would be really cool to vandalize my car by etching his art on my car door. Of course, in the end all of these are still objects. The saddest part was leaving friends. Knowing that I won’t be able to hang out with them at dim sum, bubble tea, the shopping mall, or at Cora’s; knowing that they won’t be just an hour drive away anymore; knowing that I will miss them a whole lot …

Resigning from my company was also very emotional for me. To most people, it may not be as sad as I make it to be. However, this is my first job. My first plunge into a career of which I wasn’t even sure what to make out of it. Of the 4 years at the company, I have made new friends and very precious relationships. I still remember how I sobbed at the farewell lunch. In all honesty, it was hard and I did try my very best to hold back the tears. It may have been silly, but it was real.

The physical process of the move was difficult and exhausting but I was very excited to be with my bee after one year of long-distance dating (we’ve been together for 6 years and this has been the most challenging time of our relationship). Moving to Houston, TX, USA meant starting all over from square one. Making new friends, getting a new job, adjusting to the new environment … living the American life?

Although, I only stayed in Houston for three months before I was off on the jetplane again, on my way home to Malaysia. I decided to head back home a couple months early in preparation for our actual wedding celebration. It was very hectic as my parents were also moving house. Also, learning to deal with my acne problem was not easy, especially when there’s so much pressure to become a beautiful bride.

The wedding in KL (hosted by my family) was lots of fun. It’s funny how I can’t seem to recall much of the details as I was super tired that day. Not to mention the days leading up to the wedding as well. But on 3 December 2011, my body was functioning only on 2 hours of sleep. Nevertheless, it was filled with so much love, support, and fun! The wedding celebration continued ten days later in Brunei (hosted by groom’s family). This day was full of surprises as my hubby’s cousins planned lots of games for us to play! It was awesome!

On 16 December 2011, we got on the plane heading towards Boracay, Philippines. The beach here looks like paradise. Although, I did feel it was a bit too crowded and commercialized. When I looked towards the sea, and took a dip in the clear, blue waters … I felt peace. We had a scary experience on our first night in Boracay. Till today we are still not sure if one of our friend’s drink was drugged. Fortunately, our safety was unharmed, and we convinced ourselves not to have any meals/drinks around Station 3. Helmet diving and sunset sailing was very enjoyable.The only bad part of the trip was dealing with Cebu Pacific airlines, who cancelled our flights going into and out of Boracay … terrible customer service and quality.

After six days of gallivanting on the beach, we returned to Brunei to celebrate Christmas with family. Two days later, we had another family gathering at one of my hubby’s uncle’s place. The party just doesn’t stop …

As for New Year’s eve, we headed back to KL to celebrate at my parent’s place. We had the most spectacular view of the fireworks display around KL from the rooftop of the house. Since Chinese New Year is just around the corner, we “lo yee sang” after the New Year’s countdown.

And now … my bee and I are back in the US of A. What does the new year hold for us newlyweds? Well, whatever it may be, I hope we both have the courage to sail through it and keep our relationship happy and supportive. We both miss family and home already. New Year’s resolution? I haven’t even thought about it! Time to get this brain storming for ideas

Happy New Year!