A very Happy New Year to all! First off, I want to thank you all for following my humble blog. I never thought myself as a good writer. Surprisingly, writing a blog all these years has allowed me to let go off my hidden thoughts in a safe place. A place where I can ease the burden of my cloudy mind. I have always liked capturing memories in many forms, be they writing, photographs or handicrafts. And it gets better, each year, with new growth, memories and experiences.
Last year, was a contemplative year for me. Being a stay at home mom, the memories I make daily are mostly with my child. Emma is growing up so fast. I already feel like I miss her. She is exploring her feminity, curious about other little tikes around her, and spreading her wings with singing and toddler dancing movements. And being a girl, she is reacts strongly to her emotions. Yes, there are times I feel like hiding in the closet. Yet there are times, wonderful little moments of truth, where I marvel at this miracle birth of beautiful life the heavens have bestowed upon our family.
What I love and will always cherish about my little, baby girl, are the moments of truth in her eyes that I see everyday, right now, as she is growing up.
She rarely wakes me up in the morning when I’m still asleep beside her. If she’s awake, she’ll roll around in bed daydreaming, waiting for me to look into her eyes. And when she sees I’m awake, she will inch closer to me, and give me the sweetest smile a child can give to her mother. She doesn’t say a word, her eyes still a little sleepy but full of unspoken messages, gleaming with a hint of gratefulness. This look she gives me every morning lets me know, in my heart, that she is so happy to wake up beside me, and so secured that I’m right beside her. For the next few minutes, we roll around in bed, cuddle, say our good mornings, and give butterfly kisses to one another.
Her love for music is indeed a fun and exciting exploration. She is learning very fast, and can sing along to her music she likes. Her favourite songs are from Disney’s Mulan. And she can act out scenes from that cartoon (gosh, it’s quite the spectacle watching her go about the kung fu scenes!). I hope to continue to mould her interest in music and arts. I grew up in a generation where science was a preferred genre to excel in, but I truly believed, I was more fit to be in arts. I still turned out fine, because my parents encouraged them as hobbies. So I’m excited to see how Emma will choose her path down the road. I have a funny feeling, she will be in performing arts. At times, she really tries to be like a Disney princess. But she’s still a baby at heart, tuning into Doc Mcstuffins, playing doctor in the house.
She is also getting better at colouring and drawing. She loves to use markers, so thankfully we have the washable ones. I don’t know if she has figured out drawing on furniture or walls, but I’m very glad she is not the kind of kid that just randomly draws everywhere. I’ve taught her that pens/pencils are only for paper at a very young age, and I hope she will remember this rule. When she holds a pen to draw or colour, I would gaze at her face closely, just watching her with awe. I wonder what goes through her mind. She makes some squiggle circles and tells me proudly she has drawn a snake. I can’t wait to see more of her artwork as she grows older. There’s just something so genuine and pure in a child’s imagination, thrown onto a blank canvas, free to create whatever he/she wants. I’m the type of person who will keep my children’s artwork for as long as I can, not only for my keepsake, more inportantly for them to look back at when they are grown adults.
I love how she is helping out with household chores and trying to be Cinderella now that our domestic helper is no longer around. So she cleans, not effectively, but I let her do what she feels like doing safely. After all, it’s much healthier than sitting in front of a screen.
I love how she gives me the cuddles and stroke my face gently when I’m unwell. Just like how I would touch her and comfort her when she is sick. Any mother would say this is the greatest gift of love a child can offer to her. A reciprocrating love and kindness. There is not enough kindness going around the world these days, and I think it is making people more depressed. Stressed. Crazy. And it makes me wonder if every child is born with such expanse for great kindness. It is innate. It just needs to be nurtured the right way for it to bloom and take flight. That’s why parenting is hard work. It truly is a sacrifice. Because the only best teacher your child has is you. It will always be you as a parent, especially crucial in the younger years at home.
I know in a few years time, I won’t be having the same moments like this with my baby girl anymore. I know, she will be maturing into a teen soon. I wish I can hold on to these moments a little longer. Just a while longer … isn’t it a wonder how love can be so sweet yet painful at the same time?