I have been guilty of coming up with excuses for not having time to go in the kitchen and cook. I used to love cooking. I would find recipes and try them out. Even baking cakes and cookies in the oven did not scare me away from the kitchen. Back then, I had much time on my hands.
Now, I’m living with my parents. I don’t find my mom’s kitchen to be very user friendly. Her cooking styles and mine are very different too so we have different needs for ingredients and condiments. And there’s not enough space … if I were to make an addition to the existing items there.
I don’t know if it’s really the Terrible Twos kicking in for Emma. She’s starting to “hate” me more, refuse to comply with instructions, and telling lies to get what she wants. I’ve been yelling alot, getting angrier, and getting more upset with myself. I need to stop.
So feeling like I had a good plan in place, I decided to make her breakfast look a little sweeter this morning. It’s all specially for her. I made a sandwich in the shape of Hello Kitty and two flowers. I also cut out flower shapes from a plum.
Disappointment. Failure. Rejection. Helpless. This was how I felt. I am trying not to be so sensitive. It’s not her fault if the food is not to her liking. Sometimes, I don’t know where the pressure is coming from. In traditional Chinese families, we are taught to finish whatever food you have on the table, and be grateful you even have something to eat. I’m sure Emma’s too young to understand this, but I don’t know why I get so worked up about it at times.
I really hope this is all a phase. And I need to stop yelling. I really wish I stop yelling.