Enough…

It’s one of those days again. My daughter has been clinging to me non-stop. I love to hear her call me “mummy” but today it got to a point where I just wanted to crawl into something and hide. 

If I take out my phone to check a message, she whines to see photos on there.

She follows me everywhere, even when I get a glass of water from the kitchen.

The next favourite word after mummy is “play”. 

Even after I’ve played with her, she wants more. 

What are we feeding our kids that they need stimulation 24-7??

I turn off the TV, and she requests for more. 

It’s 6 PM. I’m mentally exhausted. I can’t take it anymore and so I turned back on the TV for her to watch the BabyTV channel.

I feel terrible. I feel useless. And I feel trapped. 

I can’t bring her out because we have to stay home due to repair works in the house. 

I can’t plan outdoor activities, even in the garden because the garden is getting a massive makeover. 

Even on normal days we can’t go out much because of my dad’s big dog, another clingy sentient being that needs attention too.

Mosquitoes are a PAIN. In this part of the world anyway.

I’m depressed. I can’t stay home all day just playing with my kid. 

I miss work. I miss doing something rewarding in money. 

I miss the feeling of  chasing after a dream.

Now all I think of is how is my decision going to affect my parents and my daughter. 

I really wish sometimes I was just a tree.

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