Commitment

Damn, I need to start commiting to this blog. Things really are different when you’re not a student anymore … I have to work my ass off to pay rent every month! Where got time for blogging anymore???

Just kidding … how can I ever neglect this lovely space of mine. My virtual sanctuary

I just want to get over with the driving test. I have failed … miserably … twice. And, I feel that the Advanced Class 5 road test is too difficult for me. I don’t have enough driving experience here in Canada … . The Basic Class 5 road test is less stressful as it is only 25 minutes long. The only thing I have to practise real hard is parallel parking. If I hit the curb … it is an automatic fail

I can’t believe I just paid $500 over bucks for the stupid driving lessons too. My goal was to get a licence so that I can start driving to work. Sigh, I wish I had my mind straighten out a little back then when I surrended my M’sian Driving License to gain approval to take the road test immediately. Jackie kept convincing me to just sit for the Advanced Class 5 road test … it would have been easier if I just sat for the Basic Class 5 test. Look where I am now … ARGH … it is frustrating, and it is bothering every single bit of me. Grr … I don’t care if I have to wait 2 more years before sitting for the Advanced Road Test … I’ve been ranting on about this without even mentioning the benefits … gee. If I have a basic license … I can’t drive past midnight, can’t have a single alcohol trace in my blood while driving … can’t go pass speed limit (otherwise license will be suspended right away). So yeah … unfortunate for me, but who cares? I just need a car so I can DRIVE MY ASS AROUND!

Breathe … I need to calm down. I keep thinking about this at work (because I have to carpool with people) … even when I eat, bathe or water my plants. Except when I’m watching movies … I am stress-free! Recently, I discovered a portal where I can watch all the exciting dramas (Jap, especially) … and I’m addicted to this show now – Busu no Hitomi Koishiteru. It’s really funny, and heart-warming as well.

There’s too much going on in my life now. I have to keep up with work … not having a car and a license to drive is so inconvenient … parents are persuading me to go home all the time … is life all about pleasing other people? Sometimes I feel choked. I can’t even have a tiny space to do what I want to do with my life. It’s all about the money, status, family, future. I wish time can just pause for me a little while, so that I can breathe.

I can’t find the right time to breathe anymore.

The Thing about Music

I was chatting with a fellow friend about engineering job opportunities when he suddenly mentioned about a video on YouTube and the comments that people have poured. According to the comments, people claim that Sissel Kyrkjebø is a better singer than Celine Dion, and the producers should not have put Sissel in the background vocals for the Titanic theme song.

As for me, I personally don’t compare singers and their music, especially on the basis of which song/music is better. My theory is very simple. Each individual has a talent, but it is how they project their talent that will make them famous in the world of music. Of course, when it comes to competitions and such … there is a certain guideline that helps judges measure talent. But in the large scheme of things, you can’t measure talent based on just what you like and don’t like. Why do you think these reality TV shows (e.g. American Idol) have more than one judge? Often, not all of them have the same reasons when it comes to judging. Different people have different expectations thus I don’t buy the fact that we can just judge who is a better singer in the Titanic theme song. Additionally, that is the why it is not easy to become a judge for any kind of event.

Don’t get me wrong, and I may be a little over critical on this subject. We have the right to say our own views regarding our likes and dislikes. The one thing that sparked my interest to debate on this area is the hypocrisy of it all. Some people just follow along with the crowd when they hear something is good, something is bad. I am just not that kind of person as I hold strong to my own personal taste when it comes to music. I never judge whether the voice is stronger or more powerful because to me it is the music that touches my heart.

And, it is like art. You don’t compare Vincent Van Gogh and Leonardo Da Vincci together. They are both very different minds weaving their talent on a piece of canvas. It is what you as a viewer prefer. And what you like to see should be genuine, not by listening to comments on which art stroke or colouring is better. Having said that, Sissel and Celine have two very different voices. If it is Sissel’s voice that touches your soul, then by all means listen to it as you like. My point is, it is not justified if Celine comes into the picture as comparison.

That is why I never comment on other people’s music library. It may be noise to my ears because I don’t fancy heavy metal music. It may be soothing but boring, but I never say it out loud. I approach it with an open mind; I approach it as it is … music.

A long time ago, I had a friend who would comment on every kind of music that I listen to. When it came to R&B music, she would scorn it as being low-quality. When it came to Michael Buble, she would tease it as old, slow, and boring. When it came to Techno music, she would cover her ears and insult it as noise. Honestly, I really wanted to give her ear plugs each time she came around. She would look through my playlist and just scrutinized the kind of music I listen to. If I wanted to be really mean, I would have said that she didn’t know how to appreciate music. But I did not want to waste my breath because she has too strong of a personality to admit her mistakes. And it’s true, because I consider myself as someone who listens to songs for what they truly are. I don’t compare obliviously between Techno and Pop music. The same when it comes to singing voices. I don’t compare Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. If there is a song of theirs that doesn’t appeal to me, I just don’t listen to it. Come on, every album that you buy on the rack … was there not even one song that wasn’t as nice? Not all of them are perfect.

And so, if you have no basis as to why someone shouldn’t listen to a certain music … just swallow back those artsy words, smile and sip your drink. And, if you have no basis as to why the producers chose a certain someone to sing a movie theme song … just hold it. For all we know, it could be the fact that she is Norwegian and they needed someone who was already an icon in the music industry.

A woman’s heart

Courtesy of Joker’s Blog, I have to agree that all of the following truly represents a woman …

When you catch a girl
glancing at you,
she wants you to look
back and smile …

(It is a nice feeling having your heart flutter when he looks back at you …) 

When a girl bumps into your arm
while walking with you
she wants
you to hold her hand …

 (What better hints can we give?)

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there …

 (Definitely true. I just stand there with my head tilting sideways looking at the floor … and he’ll just come right up to give me a hug)

When u break a girls heart
she still feels it when
you run into each other 3 years later …

 (I’m pretty sure if I see my ex-bf again, the sad memories will flash back. Not that I still love him, but I’ll still feel the heartache) 

 When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through
her mind …

 (Hohoho. This is a classic one. Need I say more?)

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply …

 (Honestly, I’ll be constantly thinking of ways to resolve the argument)

When a girl looks at you with eyes
full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around …

 (I do this every time when he has to leave town for a week to work)

When a girl answers, “I’m fine,” after
a few seconds,
she is not at all fine …

 (It’s more like one second)

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are playing
games!!!!!!!!!!!

(Of course!)

When a girl lays her head on your
chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers
forever …

(Forever, and ever, and ever …) 

When a girl says she can’t live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are
her future …

 (Well, I guess it is true to some extent. But I don’t buy it during those puppy love days. We weren’t even mature enough to say “I love you” or “I can’t live without you”)

When a girl says, “I miss you,”
no one in this world can miss you more
than that …

(True. This means that the first thing that comes to her mind is you, especially when you’re not around to share her happy moments or blue days)

When a girl is mean to you after a
break-up
she wants you back, but shes
scared she’ll get hurt and knows
you’re gone forever …

(I haven’t gone through this stage, but I believe it depends on each individual’s personality. Different women have different ways of dealing with break-ups)